It's been icy cold here in North Central Texas. Schools have been closed and my husband has worked from home the last 2 days. We have kept the wood stove burning and soup on the stove.
I decided to finally take the time to sit and work on transferring everything to the new website. I'm afraid the cold has made my pain level too high to do much else. On Saturday, I finished one of the paintings for the Art & Conservation Art Show, I still have one more to go but I'm not getting much done I'm afraid.
This painting is in a much looser style than I normally work, but it felt good, considering the last 2 paintings I had worked on were portraits and much more detailed.
As I start to blog again, I have decided that my focus will be different this time. I have blogged before about the act of creating; but this time I want to look at the act of creating thru the lens of pain and living with a chronic illness.
Whether I like it or not, my disability is now a huge part of who I am. I have had to leave behind the woman I used to be and learn to live, and dare I say, learn to like the woman I am today.
As a woman who has always been very active and involved in my community, my church, my family and my career as a business owner, bookkeeper, and horse woman; it has been a major shift to let go of those identities and try and move on with my life. I try very hard to take things one day at a time, and to not be too hard on myself when my day does not allow me to check even one thing off of my "to-do list". I'm not going to lie, there are days when I sit in tears because of all I can no longer do. I miss my friends at work, I resent not being able to contribute to our household income and I miss riding my horses.
My husband is 66 and has a new career as a realtor, we are both learning to live with a new normal. I have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that God has a purpose for my life, even if I can't see it all the time. I hope that I can inspire even one person, to try something new, to learn to ease up on themselves, and to find joy in their lives no matter the circumstances.
For me, my husband, children, grandchildren, my faith and my painting bring me joy and give me a reason to get up every morning. I hope through my paintings and my sharing, I can bring hope to those who suffer.
An award winning Pastel artist and blogger, who lives with Fibromyalgia, Psoriathic Arthritis, and Chronic pain.